Visited Target this afternoon to look for this Fisher Price Swing Monstrosity that Will Make the Baby Be Quiet, which their web site says is there. (Try it: Click here and click on "Find it at a Target store," and enter 11215, the adjacent zip code. As of 30 seconds ago, for the Atlantic Terminal store, it says "Available". This is important to know, to fully enjoy this post.)
Looked around, didn't see it, looked around again, waited for a group of staffers' conversation to end and then cornered one.
Me (attempting sane voice) : Hi ... So this swing, the web site says you have it here, but when I look over there I just see display models of other swings, and no swings at all in boxes.
Him (nodding knowingly) : Oh yeah. The one on the web site is probably online-only.
Me: Yeah but ... no, I actually put in the zip code and it said that there's physically one here.
Him: Well whatever is out there is what we have.
Me: There aren't, like, more in the back or anything? [note: besides my journalism heroics I work in a retail store and there are frequently more things in the back.] Because the web site says that you have them here.
Him: No, the ones on the web site are probably online-only.
I hate to belabor this but the web site actually says the opposite, which is that it's NOT available online, but can ONLY be purchased in stores, such as the Atlantic Terminal store, where it's "Available"
Anyway, now I'm home, and not with a swing. Which is kind of OK because they're hideous, but kind of not OK because apparently babies don't know that and actually like them. I found myself musing earlier that Design Within Reach should make a baby swing that's cool-looking. But then, as a friend pointed out, they'd cost $5,000. Aha, but then, I countered, you'd be able to buy them used on Craigslist for like $200, and would feel like you'd gotten a bargain.
I probably would pay $200 to have retroactively not gone to Target today.
Although, hahaha, of course I don't have $200.